S5E9 – Poly For The Holidays Part 1: Chosen Family

In this holiday themed episode, Jenn and Daren talk about how celebrating the holidays in a non-traditional way can sometimes be the way that best serves you. The queer community has a legacy of chosen families, building families not based on blood but based on the community that loves and supports you. For much of their lives, Jenn and Daren operated under the traditional framework that you celebrate the holidays with your family, even if that family was full of people that mistreated you, made you uncomfortable, or were generally not fun to be around. But once they chose to celebrate the holidays with the people they built a community with the other 364 days of the year, the entire experience became much more enjoyable.

This is a symptom of the broader importance of boundary setting. People in your family are not due any special form of treatment. If they cross, disrespect, or outright ignore your boundaries, they are not worthy of your time, energy, or presence. If they loved you and were showing up the right way, they would either support your decision to not take part in an event that violated your boundaries or make the effort to make the space somewhere that accommodated your needs.

Reference Material:
PREORDER Black Women Taught Us: An Intimate History of Black Feminism by Jenn M. Jackson PhD – https://amzn.to/3N5m4Yg
Set Boundaries, Find Peace, The Set Boundaries Workbook 2 Books Collection Set By Nedra Glover Tawwab – https://amzn.to/47Frf9U
What ‘Chosen Family’ Means — and How to Build Your Own – https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/chosen-family

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Podcast Summary:
This is an accidentally funny podcast about the realities of Blackness and adult life. We do “adult” differently. We are That Black Couple.
Our goal is to create a space for Black millennials to discuss and embody adult life on their own terms. We aren’t beholden to “traditional” gender or parenting roles, queerness is fluid and present in the ways we show up in our relationships and in the world, and we want to build community with other 30-something Black folx who are trying to figure this ish out.